Second Choice

The weight of the burden burns the shoulders,

And threatens to break my unshakable composure,

The world presses against the weight,

And pushes me towards my undeniable fate,

People around me crush me,

Under their strong, bulky feet,

And push me away from their pathetic lives,

As if I am someone to mistreat,

I am always the second choice,

The one that doesn't matter,

And when I try to raise my voice,

They leave me alone, 

Alone and shattered,

They discriminate me,

They make me feel inferior,

And when I try to be what they want me to be,

They insult me,

And show me that they are superior,

They have left me with no way to win,

No way to live in another skin,

All I can do is wait,

Wait for the problems to drift away,

And hope that it won't be too late,

Written by me,

Awesome Idiot ^_^

Behind the scenes (Story)

"You don't know the story behind the actions. You have no right to comment."

  Warm coffee trickled down the cup, and on to it's plate when another waiter accidentally pushed me. I scowled as I set the coffee on the counter again and wiped it off with a tissue, taking it from it's floral box. I walked down to the table who wanted the coffee and settled it down. It was an old woman, with wrinkled skin and lips turned downwards. She looked quite lonely. I quickly walked away, before she could trigger a conversation to heal her loneliness. I was not in a mood right now to talk to any old woman right now. 

  I took orders from the other tables and walked back to the counter. My best friend, Hania, was standing beside the coffee maker now. It's voice was drowned by the chit chatter of the people around us. It sounded as if thousand of bees had come to the coffee shop and started speaking all at once. The noise was loud and familiar, and it helped me relax a little. That is why I decided that this was the best place to work in the first place. I had come to this place the first time when I wanted to escape home, which was filled with problems. I had run away momentarily and had loved this place instantly. As soon as I got home, I told my mother I wanted to work here. After getting a few slaps from my mother, because of her worry, she allowed me to work here. My father was of no use. He was always drunk in one way or another, and hardly did his job. His parents had died at a very small age and he had been this way since then. My mother also came from a poor family and so did my father. This equalled to a destroyed and poor family. We had food for only two times a day, we had no bed, we had no luxury, we could not go to school and the list went on and on.

  Hania nudged me, pulling me back in to reality. I raised my eyebrows. "What?" I asked. She pointed to the door. Outside the door, stood a sleek black Ferrari. I was confused.  It seemed so unlikely for a person in a Ferrari to come to this coffee shop. It may be famous but it's name (Babbu Ji Coffee shop) and condition was hardly the one for rich people. I looked in interest and mostly curiosity as a girl stepped out from the Ferrari. She was wearing a black and pink floral shirt, and blue jeans, both of which were tightly fitted to her bodice. Her nose was slightly turned up as she walked in the coffee shop. Without even glancing in any other direction, she made a bee line for the counter. As she came closer, I did a good survey of her. With her hazel eyes, black hair and fair complexion, she was the prettiest person in the whole shop. I felt a pang of jealousy and disgust. Why do rich people have to be awarded with everything? And why do they have to be so arrogant about it?

 The whole shop had turned silent with her arrival. It was hardly ever that a rich person came to this shop. Everyone was looking at her like she was the newest model of a Samsung mobile phone. Rich snob remained unaware of the attention she was getting and called a girl to take her order. I wondered why she didn't just sit down and wait for one of us to take her order, but I shook the thought away. I thought and observed too much. The girl on the counter hastily, went to the rich snob. "I want a cup of coffee and a brownie." Rich snob said. Haughtiness touched her tone. Arrogance radiated from her posture. The girl on the counter seemed to notice it too, and backed away a little. I felt sorry for that girl. No one deserved to be crushed by just the attitude of a person like this. 

The girl on the counter handed the Rich Snob her coffee and brownie quietly. Rich snob took it, holding the cup by the handle, her fingers slightly bent, and put a hand on the bottom of the plate of her brownie, sweeping the plate in to her hands. Then, without a second glance at anybody, she walked towards the first empty table she could see. Her clothes fitted even more to her body when she walked. Apparently, no one taught her the word modesty.

I don't know why i did it. I don't know why I walked over to Rich Snob. Maybe it was out of curiosity. Maybe it was out of interest. I don't know. But all I know is that, my conversation with Rich Snob will always be there, buried in my mind. There is no way that I could forget her.

I sat down on the table with Rich Snob. I had taken off my apron and asked Khalid for a break. He had agreed. Rich Snob looked up. Her eyes were cold, emotionless, and she looked bored. It was almost as if we were too unimportant or boring to be the company of Rich Snob. She raised her eyebrows at me. "Wasn't the word modesty taught to you?" The words tumbled out of my mouth, uninvited. 

She looked at me, disbelief evident on her perfect features. Her eyes flashed for a moment, before turning in to the same cold and emotionless balls I saw, when she looked up at me. "Don't speak when you don't know." She replied coolly.

I felt my anger spark too. "What do I need to know? You are rich and it's obvious by the way you talk and walk and act that you have arrogance filled inside you. It seems to be leaking out of you, girl." I snapped at her. I didn't know why I acted like that, but I turned back to Rich Snob, before this thought invaded  my mind, and forced me to be polite.

The girl slammed her hand on the table and stood up. She looked dangerous with her eyes flashing with fire, her fists closed, the muscle in her jaw twitching and her nose was close to mine as she spoke in the cool, soft voice of hers that sent chills down my back. "You think the rich have got it all, don't you? Well we don't! We don't have everything! We have problems too, and I swear to you that they are more than yours. Do you know how long have I spent convincing myself that I am not the worst person in the whole world? Do you know how long my parents have destroyed my hard work and made me believe that I am, in fact, the worst daughter they could have had? Do you know how long I have faced their oppression? Do you know that I have wanted to die for so long?" I was shaken. Rich Snob apparently was too. She swallowed and slammed some money on the table. "Here. I should have known. Poor people are always out for the rich's money. They think we've all got it so good. But I'll tell you the truth. We don't!"

She ran out of the shop then. I didn't try to stop her, to apologize. I was in shock. She was right, the rich snob. I had no right to judge her, to think all those things about her, when it was her cure for inferiority. Maybe her way of doing it was wrong, but she wasn't deliberately making anyone feel inferior, like I thought. 

I never came across that girl ever again. Sometimes I wonder where she is and how well is she doing. I wonder if she's doing better than me. And lastly, I wonder, if she realized how much that one outburst of hers changed me. 

_________

Hope you liked it. 

Comment.  

Coed Education--Or not?

Note: This for the interest of girls, not boys. Mainly because I am a girl, and I don't think this topic matter much to guys. But feel free to read it, whatever the gender :)

Each generation is different from the other. This generation for example is more intelligent and open minded than the last one. But with it's open mindedness comes it's vulgarity too, mind you. This generation (Well, most of it) doesn't realize what is right and what is wrong in accordance to Islam. In other words, we have stopped following Islam, the way it deserves to be followed, and I am not only talking about you guys, but me, myself, too. 

The problem of this generation that I'd like to discuss is the problem of being too frank and too free, sometimes desperate too, when meeting or seeing the opposite sex, when it is wrong to do so in Islam! From this arises the problem that whether these people, who cannot control themselves in front of the opposite sex, should be entered in co education or not. After all, they are doing wrong and should be stopped! If I had not experienced both co and girls education, I would have opted for the opposite one. Truth to be told, it doesn't really matter if they are put in a girls school or a coed one, because it doesn't stop them from doing what is wrong.

The conclusion I came to, while experiencing girls education, was that girls are too desperate and eager to meet with the guys. They have been kept aloof from them and even if a sir or just one guy comes, many of the girls either crush on him or flirt with him. This aloofness creates the desperation which it should not. But unfortunately it does. Moreover, they start meeting boys outside of school. Before continuing with my topic, I would like to ask those girls who act like wild animals in front of the opposite sex some questions. Why act like that around them when they:

1.Are not aliens from another planet.

2.Do not have three legs.

3.Or three set of ears, for that matter.

4.Are human beings too.

5.Are not people who should be goggled at.

I would understand the goggling if a male alien with three eyes and four arms would be standing in front of us, but I don't understand why stare at guys, when they have the same number of eyes, legs, hands and on, when they have the same tones of skin, when they have the same body organs? There is difference I get that. And it's natural to be curious at this age. But come on, people. Staring at guys and meeting with them behind your parents will hurt you and only you. Not only in the present but in the hereafter too. 

Back to the topic though. Coed education. The above was what and how the girls act in a girls education. But there are girls in the coed education too, who act cheaply. They flirt with guys and date them and what not. And then there are other problems in coed too, such a r*pe, and there is the danger of being bullied to anyone who does not interact with the opposite sex, who follows Islam. Then there is the problem of guarding your eyes. To stop interacting with them. To control yourself. It is not allowed in Islam to even look at the opposite sex. If you do it one time by mistake, then fine. But the second time is a sin. Don't you think it would be a big test for you in the coed education? What with other problems, this would be one of the biggest. You would be defying Islam, because you and i both know, self control is a very difficult task.

My experience, though, in the coed education has been good. I was very young at that time. We were kids actually. And we were innocent. But trust me, the class I left to go to the girls education is still that innocent. They talk, of course, but there is no dirty talk, no flirting, no dating or whatever. I know this, because my best friend still studies there, and there has been no change that has effected them. They are the same as before. The guys respect the girls with hijab. They respect the privacy of the girls, and in return the girls respect their privacy and try not to cross the limits. (Mashallah)

I have come to this conclusion that it does not matter, where we go, either coed, or purely girls, because the bad has spread everywhere. We cannot remain aloof from society as a whole, so we must try to differentiate between good and bad. We must try to draw a line, and try not to cross it. We must listen to Islam and to our parents (if they are saying the right thing). Because, In the end, it does not matter whether it is a coed or a girls education. The tarbiyat (Upbringing) of that child, the sense of right and wrong and the eiman (believe of Allah) in his heart matters. It is his self control and fear of Allah that matters. We cannot dodge the bad, so we must try not to let it influence us.

((Another conclusion might be this: To go in a girls education and remain aloof from the opposite sex. Then go in coed when matured enough to do so. But I think that there is a slight loophole in this conclusion. After all, curiosity gets the better of everyone.))

Read on

Why do we write?

We write to go in another world, in another person, to live in another skin and experience different things.
We write to escape this world, to be free from the problems in which we have been.
We write to drive away the grieve, to drive away the sadness and the depression.
We write to give ourselves freedom, to give ourselves happiness and relaxation.
We write because we want that feeling of being away from reality.
To escape our lives, the problems and the calamity. 
We write to give ourselves strength,
Which we want to acquire in the end.